Psychopathic toddlers, cramming into corners and flushing the toilet with a bucket of water...

I read something today on my physics coursework brief, which made me smile to myself. Not because it was a well-written, witty statement on the paper, but because it opened up a whole new area for me to blog about almost endlessly. Health & safety.

Before I say anything else, don't get me wrong, I'm not for deliberately dropping toddlers on their heads, feeding them ball-bearings and running people over "just for lols", but I do think it's ridiculous the lengths people go to these days just to make sure no one gets so much as a single scratch on their arm, or bump on their head. No, what made me laugh was that in a piece of coursework about the viscosity of motor oil, it told me to write a bit about safety.

Of course, I mentioned thechoking hazard posed by the (0.3mm diameter) ball-bearing I will be using, and the importance of clearong up any spillages so no one goes flying, but that only really took up one line. I therefore mentally toyed with the idea of adding a bit more to it. For example:

Hi-vi safety vests. Now, everybody (H&S departments everywhere) knows that in donning such an item, the wearer is immune from death. I don't know why they're not sold with a label saying "H&S notice: in wearing this item, the wearer is unaffected by firearms, hand-grenades, deadly diseases, A-bombs, spontaneous combustion, and Swine Flu." The way the idiots go on about how safe hi-vi vests make people, it's only a matter of time.

Another interesting point to note is that you can go into a shop, buy a hi-vi jacket and stand on the streets giving out fake tickets to random drivers. What fun! Tormenting the British public by making up offences, and best of all, having them believe you're an official!

:P

Lowri Greene :)

Elinism #2

Hi everyone, just thought I'd tell you about something my sister did yesterday...

Elin: *Holds up a salad* "How does this work?"

LOL!

Lowri Greene :)

You know you're listening to a pop album or are a fan of pop music when...

Hey everyone! Sorry again for my lack of updates! I've been so busy recently I haven't really had time to write, and once again I'm pushed for time so I thought I'd recycle my old funlist frommy Facebook notes, You know you're a fan of pop music or listening to a pop album when...

Enjoy!

1. Listening to it, you get the distinct impression that they didn't even walk a real instrument past the recording studio - when it was being written.
2. The only reason it's in your iTunes is so that when you're in a bad mood you'll have something to laugh at.
3. Even the autotune and vocoder isn't enough to make the artist/group's voices sound good.
4. You read the booklet and see that someone other than the artist is credited as vocals.
5. You know everything about the artist, except their real name.
6. You bought the album because you liked one single... and hate everything else on it.
7. You find yourself thinking "that was a short CD, back to track one already..." and then you realise there's another ten tracks left on it.
8. You don't care what the album sounds like, you only bought it for the amazingly colourful album artwork.
9. You previewed the album on Spotify or Youtube, hated it, and bought it anyway.
10. If anyone tells you to take up an instrument, you buy sequencing software for your computer. Then, when someone asks you why you didn't get a guitar or anything similar, you respond: "I thought those were just props for photographs."

Keys in the ceiling, blitzing the M25 in a Datsun and USB fairy lights - a week's worth of updates.

Hey all, sorry for the week-and-a-half-long delay since uploading my last post. I have had a ridiculous amount of maths work to do, a music essay and helping to manage a company, which, while it's helped to provide some good fodder for this blog has taken up a large amount of my time. Anyway.

I'm sure that a great many of you are fans of Harry Hill's TV Burp? Well, my dad managed to get tickets to see the live recording of last week's episode on thursday evening! Great? Wrong.
In true BBC style (even though it's broadcast on ITV, it's filmed at the BBC) tickets were given out online to a plethora of people (in other words, too many tickets are given out to account for people not showing on the night), meaning that seats are strictly first come first served. Long story short, me, my father and my friend Bethany ended up waiting outside the BBC Television Centre near Hammersmith for two hours (as the last standbys) in the cold, dark, wind and rain, going through practically airport security, only to be sent home because we couldn't get in after all. Fun. Especially considering I'd had to abandon my company meeting that day (which I don't like doing) and most of my youth group.
It wasn't a totally wasted evening, however, as we now have priority tickets for the last show in the series :D

Also worth noting is that on said thursday, I ate sushi. I realise that as being mostly raw fish and seaweed, most people would consider it as being more a fishing boat accident than a meal, but I would really recommend it :)

Something I don't understand: WHY on EARTH is everyone complaining about those twins on the X Factor? If you don't want them to get through, don't vote for them! It's not rocket science! Also, complaining when one of the judges votes in their favour? What is the point?! Ofcom have better things to deal with than someone's controversial, but completely valid opinion. Also, in talking about them, you're doing what Simon Cowell wants you to do, and publicise them. If they do win, Cowell wouldn't need to spend a bazillion pounds on advertising when he's got an army of publicists (YOU) talking about them at every opportunity! If you wanted them to fail, what you ought to be doing is avoiding talking about them, not creating goodness knows how many Facebook pages complaining about them and talking about them to your friends. If you're planning on retaliating with "you're talking about them, Lowri! You're not taking your own advice!" I really don't care. I don't give a dam about who wins these shallow programmes about exploiting innocent members of the public. I just wanted a sound-off about how idiotic people can be. Anyway.

I think it's probably about time I went to bed, so I'll say good night.

Lowri :)

Guy Fawkes and gay chickens...

My life seems to be full of... erm... interesting occurrences at the moment. For starters, tonight was Guy Fawkes' night, meaning me & my youth group all walked down from the church to the local park to watch the pretty whizz-bangs. Of course, due to the fact that 12-15000 people turned up, which is about a quarter of Guildford's population (fact!), the town centre was pretty congested, and the firewrks were so disappointing to me that I spent the whole display thinking about what compounds turned the fireworks such pretty colours, and how much like a P-orbital some of them looked. Call me a loser, I proably am.

Something about bonfire night that I have noticed, however, is the fact that it seems to have been devised not around the tradition of remembering Guy Fawkes' plot to blow up Parliament,but just a rouse to scare all the cats in the country away for a good while. Speaking personally, due to the fact that I have a pet cat (who is none too bright, it has to be said) fireworks are particularly stressful because if you're holding the cat when they go off, you basically end up looking like you've just been through one of those paper-shredders. The problem's got worse this year, because a gew months ago we replaced the sofas in the front room, and because the new ones go straight down at the back there is no longer a space for the poor cat to hide in. Instead, she's taken to hiding behind the footstool (HOW she thinks this will help I do not know) and a few minutes ago in the bathroom she just crawled under the stool and curled up, even though it was quite obvious she wouldn;t fit in it. Bless.

Anyone heard of a game called "Gay Chicken"? No? Good, let's keep it that way. I'd rather not relive those mental images either. *Wince*

Another incident worth noting is the fact that someone who is reading this blog happened to have taken the wrong locker key from me. I now need my current key back or I can't get at my new calculator for mechanics tomorrow. You know who you are, you system-hacking Google-crashing lunatic (it's only a matter of time before you get bored of winding me up and need another hobby...)


Lowri Greene :)

Elinism #1

Sorry for not posting updates in a couple of days, I've had a lot of work to do. I apologise for not being able to do a full post now, I don't have the time, so I hope you enjoy this little quote, a conversation between me and my little sister Elin during the summer holidays, a few months ago.

Elin: "How do you spell 'bucket'?"
Me: "Bucket? OK, you spell it G-U-L-L-I-B-L-E."
Elin: *Thinks for a bit* "G... U... L... L... I... B... oh!"

Lowri Greene :)

P.S. Full Guy Fawkes post coming your way tomorrow evening!

Back to school...

Finally, after eleven days of no school, we returned today. Of course, I HAD to forget my keys, meaning I couldn't get into my locker to collect my maths text book or piano books I'd foolishly left there over half term. However, even worse was the fact that when I got home my sister seemed very reluctant to let me in. If I'm careless again in the future with them, I'll most likely end up scaling the garage to let my sister know I'm in, because she enjoys being in he back room, where you can't hear the doorbell. Anywho...

Being sixteen, I recieved my chlamydia letter through the post the other day, and straight into the recycling bin it went. Honestly, it's like the govornment expect everyone my age to have jumped into bed with a load of strangers the day we turned sixteen, the amount they go on about STDs. Contrary to popular belief, not all teenagers are "slags" (a word "borrowed" frim my friend Abby), and it's a waste of time and the planet's precious resources sending all teenagers these letters. I have a lot of friends that would have done the same as me, and for the same reason, but if you consider that the people who are likely to need the letter would throw it in the bin, or even more likely, onto the ground, it would make a lot more sense (in my opinion) to have schools offer it to those who want it. It would save on paper, spare the time of people it doesn't concern and save a lot of the NHS' money. Who knows, it might even bring us out of the recession.

On an unrelated note, something interesting happened at lunch today in school. A couple of my friends (no names mentioned) decided it would be very funny to pin my arms to my sides, carry me out of the classroom we were in and plonk me unceremoniously on the floor of the corridor outside, while a few other people shouted out hilariously funny (!) statements such as "Burn the witch!". I'm sure it looked very funny, but honestly, couldn't they have done any better? I know that if I were the one pulling this prank on someone, I would settle for no less than carting the victim around the school for year sevens to laugh at (I'm in lower sixth form), dragging the victim past the head's office very pointedly and the like? That way, more than ten people can get enjoyment from the victim's pain.

On second thoughts, maybe I shouldn't have written that in case they get ideas :S


Lowri Greene :)

Hallowe'en blogging...

Once again, the thirty-first of October has come around and gone. I really don't understand Hallowe'en, or the attraction it poses to the World's population in general.

I mean, for little kids, it's an opportunity to get dressed up in scary costumes and walk from stranger's door to stranger's door in the hope of impolitely demanding sweets from them. In reality, of course, they end up being ignored and walk away after a couple of minutes. Fun.

For teenagers to young adults, however, Hallowe'en is just an excuse to get dressed up in scary costumes (for people in the UK) or the smallest, may-as-well-not-even-be-there costumes they can find (for American females), go to parties, get drunk and post smug Facebook updates about it. And I ask, WHY? Who wants to show off about how irresponsible they are? Who really wants to know about how many times you threw up all over your friends last night? Nobody cares.

Another thing I don't understand about Hallowe'en is this obsession with pumpkins. Again, WHY? They taste horrible, they're full of seeds, and they're such a random fruit (yes, that's right, FRUIT) to pick as a major symbol of Hallowe'en. Why not choose watermelons? They're a lot prettier, tastier, and would make a very suitable replacement "jack-o-lantern" or whatever to pumpkins. Think about it, wouldn't houses look so much more friendly and welcoming if they had a watermelon with a smiley face and containing a nice cinnamon scented candle outside them? According to fans of the Hallowe'en tradition, it's supposed to be fun, and one wonders whether it would be much more fun if people showed a bit of hospitality.

Opinions?

Lowri Greene :)

Roll on Guy Fawkes night! :D

Hello world!

As you can probably guess, I'm a bit bored. You know the drill, it's the school holidays and you're up-to-date with all work that needs doing - and then you realise you have another half a week left. There are things you could be doing during that week, sleeping until gone noon, Facebooking, watching rubbish on the idiot box that you've already seen several squillion times, but sometimes you just can't be bothered to do nothing? Well, that's me. And that is one of the reasons why I decided to start blogging.

I realised earlier today that I post a lot of crap on my Facebook. I do enjoy coming up with it, and it is sometimes quite brilliantly witty (!) but updating my status several times a day probably doesn't best endear me with my friends, and is more likely to drive them up the wall by showing them five thousand funny comments about Hallowe'en or fireworks or whatever every time they log on. Also, Facebook isn't Twitter! It's full of normal people like me, instead of celebrities who have nothing more interesting to talk about than their hairstyles or whatever, or do a Miley and build up a Twitter account to have a nice little following of a few million people, then delete it for publicity.

Because of these reasons, I have started this blog. I hope you enjoy it, I will be updating it as often as I can (find anything vaguely interesting to talk about).


Lowri Greene :)